Monday, July 02, 2007

How to Annoy People PT III.

201. Vacuum your lawn. (See note on 200)

202. Recite shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet.

203. Go to McDonalds and ask for a BK Whopper.

204. Order a pizza and ask them if they can "please put the crust on top this time" in an exasperated voice.

205. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"

206. When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off.

207. Also, when riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, "Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?"

208. While walking make car noises loudly (Such as changing gears).

209. Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.

210. Go up to a someone and say, "Are you annoyed by irrelevant questions?" And then walk away very quickly.

211. Finish each sentence with "Monkey See, Monkey Do".

212. Click your mechanical pencils or your pens during a test in school.

213. Pretend you are invisible.

214. Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language.

215. Spend all day at a fast food restaurant and see how long it takes before you have to pay for your "free" refills.

216. Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"

217. While going down in an elevator scream, "AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" for no apparent reason.

218. Call everyone a communist.

219. Explain "the little green men" in detail to someone, and when they don't believe you, accuse them of being one in disguise.

220.. Call your neighbors collect.

221. Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?"

222. Page yourself over an intercom, but don't disguise your voice.

223. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.

224. When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises.

225. Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"

226. Clear your throat every three or four words while speaking.

227. Look at your hand in amazement and say, "Whoa, I never knew I had this!"

228. While driving if you see a "How am I driving" bumper sticker, call the number and inform the operator that the driver is doing a great job.

229. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.

230. When driving with companions in the car, every few seconds slam on the brakes and insist that a squirrel ran in front of you.

231. Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know."

232. Sending this list to all of your friends through email.

233. Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.

234. Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly.

235. Begin every sentence with, "By the Gods!"

236. When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!".

237. When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.

238. At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"

239. Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave.

240. Put powdered sugar in your hair, sit down next to a stranger, and scratch your head a lot.

241. Turn on the Talk Radio Stations in your car, roll down your windows, and headbang.

242. Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father."

243. Scotch tape your door as an Anti-theft Device.

244. Super Glue quarters to floors.

245. Put the wrong date and year on the papers you hand in to your teachers.

246. Call random numbers and say "Hi, this is Julie from Basken Robins. If you can name 31 flavors in 31 seconds you get a free scoop."

247. WRIGHT N AL CAPITOL LETERS AND MISSSSSPEL EVRYTHIND!!!

248. Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on them in front of other people.

249. Make a loud and abrupt noise when nobody is looking, then face the other direction when everybody looks your way, pretending the sound came from behind you. (Thanks Alex)

250. Lend a book to someone, but staple the middle together.

251. Lend someone a book, but rip out the climax.

252. When making a list use the same number twice.

253. Spel easy wordds rong.

253. Pronounce people's names wrong every time you meet them.

254. Laugh at everything they say.

255. Never laugh at what they say.

256. When talking to someone, tilt your head to the side.

257. Snicker at what someone said and say "I got the movie reference".

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